I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
