The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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