I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
