So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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