We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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