Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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