please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
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does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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