Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize