fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
