woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
