oh god the rape fog is back!
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
