And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
