I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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