my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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