Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
