That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
