Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize