Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
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he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
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Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.