whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.