Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
