I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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