the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He felt like a one man threesome
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
