Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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