yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
