my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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