Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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