There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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