you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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