So drunk its hurt
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
