nut hugger
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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