Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
