i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
