her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
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We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
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Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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