Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
