I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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