I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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