I'm gonna have a badass scar
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize