Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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