btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
sex in a hospital.. check
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize