just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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