Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
