he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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