She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
