# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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