no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
