Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
