worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
