Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
