Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
