today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize