fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I still have a little drunk in my system
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
