I think my fart just growled at me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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