im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
