I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize