After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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