I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
