found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
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I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
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At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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